The 40 Over 40 Project
Yvonne Scarlett,
Age 76
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
We’ll I’m 76 years old, married to the love of my life and best friend. We have been together for 56 years and married for 54! We have 3 amazing and talented children and 7 ( amazing and talented) grandchildren! Of course I’m just slightly prejudiced! My husband Lee and I met in college, he was going to be a teacher and a high school basketball coach and I was going to be a teacher. As we have experienced many times life can throw you a curve ball! After our first son was born Lee was offered the job of assistant basketball coach at the University of California at Berkeley! Sooo we packed up and moved from San Jose California to Moraga and my new career became full time mom - I couldn’t have been happier! I’ve had a wonderful, exciting and full life and I don’t really dwell on age, I just try to look and feel the best that I can for the age that I am. It’s funny at 76 I think I can still do the things I did at 56 but my body says “ noooo you can’t”!
When do you feel most confident?
This question is difficult for me to answer. All my life I’ve never had much self confidence - I was adopted and my parents were almost 50 when they adopted me! Can you imagine having a newborn at 50!!! It was kind of like being raised by your grandparents. They were of a different generation and in their own way they were wonderful parents, I had a great life with a lot of privilege, it was just a little different. There was not a lot of encouragement or compliments in our family, so you really didn’t know if you were doing good but you did know if you were doing “bad”! Too much psychological stuff to get into but I feel very fortunate to have parents that loved me and wanted the best for me. I have recently discovered that I have a lot of anxiety! I have always had trouble making decisions and being afraid of making the wrong decision, no matter how small. I’m working on it but even answering these questions gives me anxiety! The only time I feel any confidence is when I’m with my husband - I know he always “ has my back” and no matter what will take care of me. He is definitely my rock in every aspect of my life!
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
I’ve learned that time is probably the most important thing to help with pain, disappointment, loss etc. the old saying “ pain heals” is really true. However it may not heal completely but it will soften the hurt. I try to stop worrying about things that are out of my control and focus on the things I can do. I do feel that happiness is a daily choice and life is full of changes and how we react and adapt to those changes can either give us happiness or sadness.
What advice would you give your younger self?
I’d tell myself to slow down, take a breath, everything doesn’t have to be perfect! Every day is a gift!
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
It was a wonderful experience! Full of anxiety!! But so much fun! I truly didn’t think Kelsey would get a really good picture of me but these photos she took are the best pictures I’ve ever taken! I’m thrilled!