The 40 Over 40 Project
Sarah Dubowsky,
Age 40
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
Ask this to my 20-something self and I may or may not have laughed out loud and said that anyone over 40 is simply put, probably not fun. Funny I say that though, because when I think back through the stages of me, and my life as I have evolved, it is not until most recently that my smile has truly reached my eyes and my laughter has been unapologetically loud. With experience comes wisdom, and for me, a confidence in myself as a wife, a mother, and a friend. It is a process though, and not without bumps along the way, but in reminiscing my past experiences and how they have shaped my current life, I can only be excited about the future and confidently say that the best is yet to come.
When do you feel most confident?
This answer has evolved as I have grown. When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I was incredibly confident in my physicality, having been an elite college athlete. Working out, though - which used to be a way of life - was put on the back burner when I became a mother and my career took off a few years later. In my late 20's/early 30's, career-wise, I was the epitome of a career-woman and incredibly confident in my business suits and corporate meetings, as every year brought about another promotion, another title, and more responsibility. On a personal level though, behind closed doors, I was running on fumes, and in my late 30's the facade started to crack. I started to realize the sacrifices my children were making for not only mine, but my husband's, careers. From the outside, while I appeared confident during this time, as a mother and a wife I was fragile. In recognizing this though - and acting to change it - I started to see my confidence slowly but surely emerge again. My continued belief in myself, through the empowering actions to not only want something, but to act on it, has brought my confidence full circle. I'm still a work in progress, but here I am today, with a focus on my family, balance, and the power of change, and I am embracing my confidence in the here and now.
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
My own personal resiliency is tied to what I call the capacity to suffer; the only way to get to the other side of a situation is to go through it, there is simply no other way around it. It is in the process of going through challenging times, that has built more strength and resilience in my character and my ultimate belief that things will work out as they are meant to. That is not to say though, that I haven't held back silent tears or cried in the shower, I certainly have. But even in those times, I learned to embrace the situation because each time I have come out the other side stronger.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Smile a little bit more; laugh a little bit more; and don't forget to breathe. The destination is where we ultimately want to be, but it is the journey where all the stories are born and the memories created.
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
Embrace where you are now, because keep in mind that for the good or the bad, you really don't know where life will take you. Take a different perspective in approaching this; don't make it about you or your vulnerabilities; make it about you and your strengths. As someone who has likely lived their lives focusing on others, take a chance on yourself. You may just enjoy it. :-)