The 40 Over 40 Project
Sabina Featherston,
Age 52
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
It’s funny, but I honestly think less about age now than I did when I was in my 30s. Maybe that’s because I’ve realized that age is truly just a number. It tells people how long I’ve been on earth. That’s it. It doesn’t say anything about how long I’ll be here, how smart I am, what I’m capable of, who my friends are, how healthy I am, or how I spend my time. After college I spent about a decade and a half pouring my life into young people through teaching school and youth ministry. That season was so incredibly rewarding. Exhausting? Yes. Trying? Sometimes. But the beauty of that time was the relationships. I witnessed in a deep way the power of speaking destiny into a life. The beauty of seeing a person blossom because someone believes in them. The joy and pain of being committed to a young person through good and bad decisions. And you know what? Now I’m 52 and some of those individuals have become deep lifelong friends. So I have friends much younger than me, friends my age, and several amazing mentors old enough to be my parents. I don’t deny the differences in the generations, but I’m more convinced than ever that our souls are so much the same. I don’t define them by how long they’ve been on earth, and I hope they don’t define me that way either.
When do you feel most confident?
I’m one of those people who did not love high school. I transferred in to a huge public school from a small private school sophomore year and never found my place. Looking back, I was always trying to figure out how to belong - which is tricky to do when you are defining yourself by what others think. Later in my teenage years I started to focus on reading my Bible, and a couple of verses really caught my attention: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5 “But whoever loves God is known by God.” I Corinthians 8:3 It’s like I woke up and realized - oh my goodness - I was created with a purpose! I’m unique for a reason. God knows me. And I made the most important decision of my life and committed it to the one who created it. From that day on my identity has not been based on what others think of me but what God thinks of me. That will set you up with confidence for life.
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
My painful times can probably be sorted into 2 main categories: loss and waiting. Around age 47 I started to realize I had experienced more loss than I would have pictured by that age. The loss of my mom to leukemia that seemed to come out of nowhere. The death of one of my dearest friends & roommates to cancer. The death of my college roommate and also my favorite aunt to breast cancer. A tragic car accident that claimed the lives of two of my lifelong mentors. Not to mention a couple of big heartbreaks with no closure that I carried with me a few years too long. And then the loss of dreams - especially the dream of being able to have a baby and create a family. One thing about loss, though, is that in most cases there is some comfort available: hugs, people you can confide in, meal trains, sympathy cards, etc. But waiting is different. I married my sweet, precious husband at age 44. During those many years of being single, I had such a deep desire to be married and have a family. But it wasn’t happening. There are no sympathy cards for a dream not being fulfilled. So honestly, those were probably some of my toughest years. I was a bridesmaid. 18 times. I threw bridal showers and baby showers - more than I can even count. And I genuinely rejoiced with each person. But there were days I’d go home and cry. Now that I am happily married, I can truly say that I wouldn’t have changed anything. I can look back and see what the Lord was doing in me and through me during those years. Rob would say the same. And we can both celebrate the miracle of how God brought us together. Both the loss and the waiting in my life have taught me that there is always hope. I’m also more and more aware that this world is temporary and this is not my forever home. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23
What advice would you give your younger self?
Don’t compare. Give it to God. Journal.
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
I mean ~ chocolate covered strawberries ~ need I say more?! Really though, please seriously think about doing this! Had I not seen the ad for 40 OVER 40, I can’t imagine that I would have scheduled a professional photo shoot for myself. But as I read, I loved the concept of celebrating women’s strength, wisdom and beauty as they age. Kelsey is so talented! Have you seen the lighting in her photos?! What a beautiful project to be a part of in every way. And I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt this pampered! It’s worth the investment for sure!