The 40 Over 40 Project
Rebecca Vincent,
Age 45
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
I have been married to my childhood sweetheart for 25 years. We met in 6th grade and have loved each other always. We have literally grown up together. Now we are growing old together. I love him so. We have 2 beautiful boys. 18 and 10. They are such joys in our lives. I have owned a preschool/daycare for 15 years. I feel like teaching and taking care of little ones is what God made me to do.
I feel like I am in a transitional period of life. The one between hanging on to the younger me and the one embracing the new person I am becoming. Some days I look in the mirror and long to see the young freckle faced woman, full of energy and excitement for all the future had to hold. Marriage, motherhood, career. Some days I look in the mirror and I feel satisfied with the middle aged woman, full of calm and contentment with how I’ve lived my life so far. Then it hit me one day, while standing in front of my 10x mirror finding flaws in myself. Why am I measuring myself by this mirror? How do I feel when I don’t look in the mirror? I have made a deal with myself that I think we all have to make. Don’t let the image in the mirror determine how you feel. Physically or emotionally. If you never had to look in a mirror again, how would you live the rest of this beautiful life that you have? I am blessed beyond measure. I have a body that works. I have eyes that see beauty all around me, ears that can hear the sweet sound of my husband, my children, and my students. A mouth that can speak love and hands that can touch and feel. I think to myself, I’m only half way through this life (okay maybe a little more than half way). There is so much more life to be lived and so much to look forward to. I’m expecting the second half to be lived out with some wisdom that I didn’t have in the first half, more love, and new adventures. I have an excitement to see how I change, how my children grow, and for whatever else this gift of life has to teach me. There is no mirror that can give you those things.
When do you feel most confident?
In my classroom with my students I feel like a star! Always! In the summer, on the lake, in a boat with all three of my boys.
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
I feel like it’s part of the human experience to be resilient. I mean you just have to be or you will become sick in some way. We will all go through periods of joy and periods of pain and sorrow. The first thing that comes to my mind is forgiveness. I’m so grateful for God’s forgiveness. I’m so grateful for the people who have forgiven me. I’m so grateful that God has given me the strength to forgive others also. Next, I think of family. I know that my family will hold me and lift me up through hard times. And close friends. Most importantly leaning on God and his promises have helped me to heal and move forward from painful times. I love to read what the Bible says about resilience. This is one of my favorites. The Message translation calls it “The Rescue” 2 Corinthians 1:3-7. Verses 3-5 All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too. 6-7 When we suffer for Jesus, it works out for your healing and salvation. If we are treated well, given a helping hand and encouraging word, that also works to your benefit, spurring you on, face forward, unflinching. Your hard times are also our hard times. When we see that you’re just as willing to endure the hard times as to enjoy the good times, we know you’re going to make it, no doubt about it.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Stop being self conscious for not having an obvious gift or talent like so many people around you. You will discover your gift soon. You will have a place. It will be an overwhelmingly wonderful life. Just as the Bible says, “you’re going to make it, no doubt about it.”
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
I know it’s scary. I almost backed out and even changed dates trying to avoid it. Just take the leap and do it. Kelsey is wonderful. The pictures will be a treasure for your family for years to come.