The 40 Over 40 Project
Deena Murdock,
Age 54
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
I am a mother of 4 amazing adult children and 6 of the most talented, adorable, and sweet grandchildren. I have a large supportive and close extended family who live in Colorado and Texas. I have lived most of my adult life in SW Missouri and have come to love this area and NW Arkansas. I love to hike, remodel and redecorate, craft/upcycle, go to festivals, and travel. At 54 I am more comfortable in my skin then I was in my early 20's, 30's and even some part of my 40's. Although my 40's were really the turning point. I can remember the value that I used to put in what other people thought of me, my looks, my fashion, my home, my children, my car, my intellect, etc. etc. etc. Wow what a waste of time! None of that had any bearing on the person that I was to become. The belief that other people's opinions matter is just silly when I stop to think about it. I have learned to love both my strengths and faults. I have found the silver lining in most all of my past hardships and I have come to appreciate the peace that comes with forgiveness. I have truly made a fundamental change in my approach to loving myself, and it feels great! Being a woman over 40 means I am living my desired reality.
When do you feel most confident?
I feel most confident when I am able to do what I love. This does not mean that I am dressed up with my hair and make up on point. Actually the opposite is true. When I can be in my stretchy pants and tank top speckled with paint and saw dust in my hair I feel able to accomplish anything. My dad has been a huge part of teaching me how to get down and dirty to create something beautiful and thanks to him I have been able to work on my home and do anything from rewiring, painting, or building. Sometimes even fixing plumbing. There is just something about being able to rely on yourself to accomplish necessary tasks that makes one feel powerful and confident!
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
Unfortunately, I have had my share of heartache and pain. When I think back on those very profound events, I can always find something positive to focus on. It doesn't mean that those situations were less traumatic or impactful but each one has taught me lessons about the strengths that I possess. I have also been able to learn to appreciate the unconditional love of my family and friends. It's clique I know, but you can't know happiness without also knowing pain. Because of those difficult events in my life I have been able to weather the "smaller stuff" with more grace and peace.
What advice would you give your younger self?
The one peace of advice I would give my younger self is to stop living for others. Be true to yourself. Do what makes you happy and stop worrying about how others will perceive those choices. Stop believing that by pleasing others you will bring joy and happiness to your own life. You can only be truly content when you are living your own truth!
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
DO IT! Whether you choose Kelsey Comer Photography or another artist, do it! I can say without a doubt that this was an amazing experience. The most profound part was to go in and see all of the prints. I felt so overwhelmed with how beautiful I felt and looked in print. I think I look beautiful in my before photo too but I really felt pampered and stunning in my after shots. I think every woman should have the opportunity to see how others see them!