The 40 Over 40 Project
Dana Sanders,
Age 60
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
I am a 60 year old wife, mom to two fabulous children, Granny to 3 perfect grandchildren (with another on the way) and dog mom to two ridiculously spoiled Italian greyhounds. I retired in 2016 after 27 years in the Juvenile Justice system. It was a job that was both rewarding and challenging. My family is my biggest blessing. In September the love of my life and I will celebrate 36 years of marriage. I have loved watching my kids grow into smart, kind, talented adults. They each found perfect partners and that makes this mama's heart so happy. Honestly, I have never been one to obsess or worry about my age. Once I hit the two big milestones of 16 and 21, age truly became just a number. I usually have to stop and do the math when asked my age. As trite as it may sound, I believe each day I am given is a gift and to dread or fret over getting older is a waste of that gift.
When do you feel most confident?
Probably like most people, I am most confident when I am doing something I am comfortable with and when I am around my small circle of friends and family. However, whenever I am pushed out of my comfort zone, I try to use those experiences to learn and generally come out the other side with a new appreciation of my abilities. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
I tend to live by the old addage "what does not kill me, makes me stronger." It is not always easy in the moment but I strive to reframe painful experiences as chances to learn and grow. I lost my mom to cancer way earlier than I was ready. That experience made me more mindful to cherish time with loved ones. I successfully battled breast cancer in 2015-2016. That experience made me seriously evaluate whether I was truly living my best life. It lead to me making choices to eliminate as much as possible things that did not bring me joy or peace. I am at a much happier place because of it.
What advice would you give your younger self?
"If it doesn't open, it isn't your door." Man oh man, there was a period in my late teenage years that I wasted a lot of time beating on a door that I refused to accept wasn't mine. Once I was outside the experience I recognized I what I blessing it was that I wasn't able to pry that dang door open because God had the perfect door waiting for me. Also, stop letting people take up real estate in your head. What people think of you isn't your business. I remember how liberating it was when I finally realized people could only hurt my feelings or make me angry if I allowed it.
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
JUST DO IT! As wives, mothers, friends, daughters, employees, bosses....whatever, we tend to put ourselves last. This is such a fabulous and empowering experience. And fun! I loved picking out outfits and having my hair and makeup professionally done. If you have a friend or family member to share the experience with you, all the better! I will forever cherish the pictures of me and my daughter. And believe me your family will love having you captured in this moment of time.