The 40 Over 40 Project
Cynthia Tarnasky,
Age 40
Tell me about yourself and how you feel about being a woman over the age of 40.
I very recently turned 40, and it's a great time to be over 40. There's so much out there to help us live long, healthy lives, and so many ways to connect with people all around the world. I'm very optimistic about the opportunities the future continues to hold for those who are willing to seek them out. A bit about me, I'm a mom to six children ages 4-15. I've spent the last 15 years leaning into wife and motherhood, which fortunately for me, is what I always wanted to do. But it's only been recently that I've really started leaning into womanhood. I've always been a very logically-minded person; and learning to be open to emotions and willing to be more cyclical and more connected to those around me is difficult. It's a work in progress, but it's rewarding. I don't know if I could have done this in my 20s. Life experience is helpful
When do you feel most confident?
I feel the most confident when what I'm doing in life lines up with my core values, which are mainly honesty, belief in the dignity of all people and nature, and that we all have a higher and holier purpose. When I feel that my actions are in line with what I believe, I have confidence that is unstoppable.
How did your painful times give you the gift of resilience?
Overall, I've been very blessed and don't have a lot of painful times to relate, but two things stand out. First, I've always felt like someone who doesn't fit in, the kind of person who is alone in a crowded room. I've always had a loving and supportive family, which helps a lot, but I also have these feelings even with them. My main take away from this is that I look for people who seem lonely and try to support them. As I mentioned above, I am also actively trying to learn to connect better, especially with my own children and husband, and with other women. The second thing is that I've recently been dealing with some health issues that have affected my mobility. This has been a serious challenge for me because I love being active, and also because running a household is still a very physical job even in this age of gadgets. So I have had to start learning to let go of the reins a bit, acknowledge when I need help, and have a lot of patience. It's also making me realize how often I have been dismissive of other people's struggles, and is helping me know ways I can help others. This reminded me of a third thing, which is just the utter exhaustion of newborn parenthood. I don't do well when sleep deprived, but going through that made me realize that I can do hard things (childbirth did that as well), and also I know ways to help others going through it.
What advice would you give your younger self?
I was an avid reader as a child and teen. I learned a lot about the world and people from books, and my main advice would be to try harder to apply that knowledge to the real world. To live less in my head and be more open and interactive with the people around me. Also to care less about the end result of interactions (i.e., whether the person will think I'm weird) and be more in the moment. Along the same lines, I would say go for more things that would get me out there. I loved to dance and perform, but was usually contented to just imagining doing those things more often than actually doing them. So I would say make opportunities and do things, and learn to be confident as the center of attention.
What would you tell other mature women about stepping out of their comfort zone and doing a photo shoot?
Do it! It was so much fun, and now I have amazing photos to remind me that I'm beautiful. Kelsey was great to work with. I may become a photo shoot addict, to be honest.